I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
