I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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