just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
