I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
