I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize