You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
