She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize