Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
