After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
