I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
