I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
