these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
