Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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