have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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