Midget sex pt 2 tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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