Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sarcasm needs its own font
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
