Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
