alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
