So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
