I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
