Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
