But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If that was your dad, he is hot
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
