My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
