Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
