smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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