her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
