How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
