okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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