i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
