Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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