There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
