oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
