I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
