u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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