You can't motorboat a personality
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
