Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
