yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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