you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
