I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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