Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to make a zoo with you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
