As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
