I am spending my child support on dildos
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
