I just cut my nipple shaving
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
