i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
