The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
