How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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