Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
