She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
