People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
