The maid of honor just puked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize