she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
