This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
