North Korea, Best Korea!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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