What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
