my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
