I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
