are you so shy because you have an std?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Someone signed my nipple.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
