Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
