I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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